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-PSALM 66:19
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Under attack


This year has been incredibly hard. I have lost my father and both of my grandparents on my mother's side within 2 months. There has also been a lot of sickness on and off all year inbetween my self, my husband, my kids and our 2 dogs. Financially we are struggling each month and in a lot of debt, and things keep getting worse as expenses keep coming up (medical bills, car problems, home repairs). I have told my husband that I am at the end of my rope, that I don't know how much more I can take. I know most of this is because of losing my father. He died unexpectedly from a heart attack while walking the dogs my parents have. Since then I have been trying to help my mom with cleaning out my grandparents house and her house. I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions. I feel like I am under attack. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind. I freak out about pretty much everything anymore. Every noise, smell, drip is the house and I think it is about ready to fall apart. If kids get sick then my mind races about what hidden illness I am missing, same with our dogs. I worry about finances and how we can pay for anything, how we can afford our bills let along anything unexpected which has happened a lot this year. I know a lot of this is due to being so unprepared for the loss of my dad and now trying to prepare for everything that could go wrong. I told my husband I don't like living/thinking like this, but don't know how to get over it.

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