Hi, I'm 14 years old. I've been struggling with self-harm since November, 2013. It ended up just being bruises on myself.. or punching walls. But as my life got darker, and my depression hit harder... I thought, "Why not?" and started cutting. I've been cutting almost every day. It helps in a way no one will ever understand. I can't explain it.. it releases stress and puts me at ease. I cut my wrists, my arms, my hips, and my stomach. But hiding the scars is a pain in the butt. And my parents found out about it by invading my privacy and reading my journal. I stopped for a while after that, letting the scars clear up. I still did it every now and then on my stomach. But recently, life has been heading back down while again, and I caught myself doing it again. I cut more than I did before. Deeper, harder. Only three of my friends know. Two found out. But they aren't very good with advice. I need prayers. This an addiction. I can't seem to stop. It helps but it's still harm. I cut and cut and cut. People keep asking me why I wear long sleeves in summer. "I'm cold." is my excuse. I need to stop lying to them, and myself! I'm a Christian. A very good one. But sinking back into depression and self-harm makes me think God won't want me anymore. So why try for him?
Please pray for me. Ask God to give me a sign. I've asked him so many times, but I don't think he's listening to me.
I can't tell my parents... I can't tell anyone.
I'm so, so alone.