There was really only one confession for me to make bit it was impossible to make it solely about me. At Coastlands church in Aptos, I was the wrong end of a false witness and a wolf. I was confused, discouraged, mocked, and shunned. I had been seen as someone with a sexual history that was creepy or weird. I was accused of being delusional and socially inept. Basically, I had my relationships, self image, reputation and boundaries destroyed. I lost hope in God's sovereignty and was ordered to leave a church. I became suicidal. It took me awhile to separate the good from the bad but I had the courage to believe that God uses all things for good. Part of that was from worship songs like "Nothing is Impossible," "Words," "Forgiveness," "On Fire," "Who You Say I Am," "10,000 Reasons," and others. But I have felt that my true conviction is anger and rage, not pride and lust. I lashed out at Christina Eltrevoog via Facebook for encouraging her friends to follow me. I was outraged to be treated like a wolf and called a stalker. Much of it was hypocritical nonsense from prideful people that think they're cool (we all fall short of glory). I say that it was hypocritical because I was not receiving love or healing from people that claim to do those things. Instead, I was accused of having demons. I knew that while my social and emotional skills are actually fine I can still be unstable from brain injuries and PTSD.